I FORGOT TO HAVE A CHILD

Actually no, I didn't, and my advice to anyone else wo didn't, is... the family that smokes together stays together. The Alpha C*nt has spoken.

So here's the BIG QUESTION, do we take Eve Ensler's (author of The Vagina Monologues) advice and liberate the C word or do we let people use it against us in the most pejorative way possible? I trust my Pussy Posse will back me up on this, I say for fuck's sale let's liberate the F word and whilst we're at it, let's take the C word back as well. I'm proud to be the Alpha Cunt and I would like my Pussy Posse to speak the word loudly and fondly. Okay it's 2:30am ( that would be 6:30am your time, all my bevy of British lovelies) and my family (Thea and I, just like back in the day) has definitely been stayin' together tonight but this has been on my mind for awhile and it was gonna be written sooner than later.

I have this love/hate relationship with the patio (I like to think of it as a veranda)/garden) outside Thea's flat. On the one hand it is very lovely... chairs, table, a palm tree of sorts to shade one, on the other it is a nightmare of living crawling, shambling creatures. Possums for fuck's sake! I told all y'all Mother Nature is a cunt! There you go... yes, yes, yes, I know I used it in the pejorative sense (usually I never use the same word twice in a poem, oh fuck me! this isn't a poem, but some words and some lines, the city loves it's cum scum {serious orgasms when I wrote that line}) are just too good not to use again.

Here is the absolute truth (well actually it was Jameson's, I prefer the Irish to the Russian) if we want to make it ours we must be prepared to use it not only as a word of respect but also as a weapon to defend ourselves against our worst enemy, women. I swear we are one fucked up gender, we make more problems for ourselves than any man could. Come to think of it, that's probably why we are known as the smarter gender persuation. Those poor lads just aren't up to the machinations of which (no sloppy ending a sentence on a prepostion for me, darlin's) only a devious female mind could concieve.

I really need to stop now or I may..........................................

Wednesday AM - sorry folks but it appears certain words, which appear in the above have got some people too excited. The following is for them.

Will you perverts calm down, this is about the real world, not about your weirdness. Go away.