MERMAIDS

Last Friday evening the Pussy Posse came to mine to celebrate my purchase of four new wine glasses. The number of glasses was significant as we inducted Thea into the Posse that night. Melinda was the first to arrive followed quite closely by Sarah so we repaired to the veranda to drink, smoke and chat until Thea finished work. It was a humid and hot night, the wind had apparently decided it was a virgin bride on it's wedding night and it wasn't going to blow anyone! Melinda and Sarah had each brought a bottle of wine, and as you do, we quaffed those two bottles very quickly. Fortunately it was just then that Thea appeared with an extra large bottle of red and a bottle of white, we were saved. We took a break from fags and drink and went inside for dinner. I showed off my new Death Bed, a day bed that I had adorned with Death himself sitting atop the middle spire and skulls on each bed post (pictures soon, I promise). After dinner we took our chairs, glasses, fags and wine back out to the veranda for the usual trash talk and inebriated consideration of life's meaning. It was then that Sarah was inspired and suggested we go down to the pool in my complex. Oh joy, we were going to cool off! Oh sorrow, when we arrived at the pool there was a sign saying no swiming, pump broken. Did this stop us, not the Pussy Posse, we preceeded to drape ourselves along the side of the pool dangling our feet in the water. It was cool, it was divine and yet we were still suffering the unwanted attentions of the heat. It was about this time that the Naked One jumped up, stripped down to her knickers and leapt into the pool (by the by she later lived up to her name by disposing of those pesky knickers as well). She was in heaven and we wanted to be as well so we all stripped down to our knickers and, pump be damned, we were swmming in the moonlight and laughing delightedly. I called for a Best Breast contest (do not fret children, I was not a contestant, I was the Judge, as befits the Alpha Cunt) and the posse came over all vain and insisted that they be allowed to pose with their arms upraised, something about uplift I believe. At the end of the day, I had to declare a three-way tie, assuring them they were all perfect in their own way, as there was no feckin' way I was going to choose between an old friend, a new friend and my daughter. The interesting thing was that we were surrounded by flats, we were making rather a lot of noise and no one came out for a look, perhaps there was a twitching of curtains that we didn't notice. After several hours of watery bliss we trooped back to mine for pud and finished off the evening, almost perfectly for me, with Sarah and I waltzing to our favourite Leonard Cohen waltz, Take This Waltz.

It would have been a perfect evening if the London branch of the posse had been there. Alice, Buffy, Claire, and Jen - a toast to you. Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women.